Have you noticed that as you get older it’s harder and harder to find friends? And not just any friends, the good kind. You know, the ones that actually show up for you and cheer you on when life gets hard.
Well, having good friends are important and I can count on both hands, the number of good friends I have. And I cherish each friendship.
But trying to find writing friends is hard. I think its because I’m new to the writing realm. I do have a really great writer bestie and we meet all the time. Her guidance has helped me immensely. The question I have though, is how do you create writing friendships?
Like I said I’m in a writing class. There is a total of eight of us, not including the instructor. I’m Facebook friends with a few of them, but not all. I really mesh well with one of the guys and we both occasionally check in with one another. I value the friendship because its not one sided. He’ll either message me or I’ll message him. That friendship literally just sprung up organically and I love those friendships. I will not force any type of relationship, but I will make sure I reciprocate the kindness that is shown to me.
There is another person in class that is extremely nice and I email her every so often to ask how she writes or how she does certain techniques. She is super sweet and very encouraging. I’ve reached out to a few others as well, but it was a one and done response. And that’s cool, but I leave it alone after that. Sometimes you have people in class you jive with and then sometimes you don’t. It’s okay. And if you are in the same boat, know you aren’t alone.
I recently spoke to my writing bestie and learned that she’d reached out to other writers, but they usually don’t respond to her. That saddened me, because one I know how sweet she is, but two her writing style is fantastic (I was not paid to say that). But at the end of the day it’s the other person’s choice. And to me, they chose wrong.
I know it can be a little uncomfortable, but keep reaching out to different people. However, if someone’s personality is rubbing you the wrong way, then don’t pick them. But if you see you have similar tastes in books or admire how they do certain techniques in their stories, reach out and tell them that. What do you have to lose? What if they want to help you? What if there are certain things that they enjoy about your writing that they want to know more about? You never know unless you get out of your comfort zone.
You may be thinking, Well easy for you! You probably like talking to people? I enjoy talking to people now and bonding with them over our love for reading, but that wasn’t always the case. Back in the day I would cringe at the thought of having to talk to someone. But you have no idea, how awesome it is to find your tribe one person at a time. In writing you will need those writing friendships. Believe me, you will! Only they will be able to relate to the ups and downs of crafting those stories. And when the writing gets tough, they will be able to help you get through it.
Keep writing and keep trying to establish those friendships!